QuiverFullBirth Control Convictions

Dave & Suzanne Bortel
Current QF Digest moderators

[ not posted yet ]

Nikki & Brendon Keith
Former QF Digest moderators

I came to the Quiverfull conviction before Brendon. I was a member of the MOMYS digest. Many of the ladies on that list were quiver-minded, and shared their convictions. That led me to read, "The Way Home", and "All the Way Home", both by Mary Pride. Happily, I was a very easy convert. I loved being a mom and having babies.. But I knew that Brendon did not share my views. He worked 60+ hours a week just so I could stay home with our children. He was concerned with house and car payments. But as time went on, I could be silent no longer. I was very hesitant to share my thoughts with him. So I prayed. I prayed that the Lord would prepare his heart for what I had to say. I also prayed that the Lord would give me contentment if Brendon said no more babies. A few days later I felt the Lord give me the okay. I was on my way out of town to a conference for two days. I decided to write him a letter and let him think about it while I was away. I did not want to influence him directly. I truly wanted his conviction to come from God. I gave him this letter as I was backing out of the driveway.

Dear Brendon,

I know you must think I am crazy to write you a letter about something so central in our marriage. I felt a little uncomfortable sharing my feelings with you about this. The Lord has been speaking to my heart about our use of birth control. You know me well enough to know that I love having babies and being a mom. But I thought it was up to us to choose when to have those babies, and how many. All the research and studying I have done lately shows me it is not our decision. I don't know why the church is so silent on this issue, but I know we are not in God's will in this area of our lives. Just because America and most of the church thinks that birth control is morally acceptable, it does not make it right in the eyes of God.

There are many reasons why we should give God sovereignty over our fertility.

God's first command to man was "Be fruitful and multiply". Nowhere is this command done away with in the entire Bible. It is repeated over and over again (Gen. 9:1, 35:11)it is still valid for married couples today.

Children are a blessing from God. Psalms 127:3-5 says, "How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." We certainly would not reject money, houses, cars, good health, etc...how much more valuable are children?

God shows in one very pointed instant His displeasure with bc. Look up Gen. 38:8-10. This man was put to death.

Childlessness was seen as a curse in biblical times. When God punished nations, He very often, he prevented conception, pregnancy and childbirth as primary means of discipline.

Here is a thought. My dad was #7 in his family. If my grandparents decided not to have more kids after #2 or 3, I wouldn't be here, our kids wouldn't be here. Who are we to choose? If we trust God with our finances, with our very SALVATION, how can we not trust Him with our fertility. He knows the very number of hairs on our head. What box are we putting Him into. He is big enough to create the entire universe, but not big enough to give this to.

I still fall short in so many areas of my life. This seems easy to offer Him. We are on this earth for such a short time. Time enough to show God our love for Him, and to teach our children to love Him. That is all that matters. When we go to heaven, will we see the children that God planned for us to have, that we rejected?

If He did bless us, our next baby could be a great evangelist, a Dr. who finds a cure for horrible diseases, or just be a mom or dad who loves their family and raises them for God. It is not up to us.

Babe, I will submit to whatever you want to do. I just felt I had to let you know what was on my heart. Don't think about what the world would say, our friends, family, just what God would want. I trust you and your judgment, and know that you want what is best for our family.

Love, Nikki

The Lord is so good. The day I got back from my trip, we never used birth control again.

We Christians are believing lies from the very pit of hell. If we were to list all the reasons why Christians use birth control, we would see that they are the same reasons why a woman aborts her child. The primary reason children are murdered is because they are an inconvenience. Babies interfere with our pursuit of happiness, or Lexus's, swimming pools, careers, 3,000 square foot houses....you get the idea. One of the main reasons why we as the Church have failed to act against abortion is because we have the same anti-child mentality as those who advocate it.

How are we ever going to impact this lost and dying world, if we conform to its standards? Jesus calls us to be peculiar, to be different. How far are we willing to go? We are to crucify ourselves, put to death our own selfish wants and desires. There must be a radical transformation among His people. Let it begin in the most sacred of places, in our marriages, in our homes, in our hearts.

Nikki Keith